Sunday, October 11, 2009

God's Will

Have you ever wonder what God's plans for you? What exactly was the thing that we are suppose to do? Should I do this? Is this right? Questioning was exactly what I'm going through now, with all these why, what, how, where, who...

It was just this recent Friday night right after Alpha Course, answers were coming towards me. (certainly with some doubts too) Firstly was about prayer I made previously. Am I having the right prayer? Should I change another aspect on what I'm praying? Secondly was the time. Would it be the time is still not right? Thirdly was the lack of confidence in myself. Why am I always worrying that it is hard to persue my dreams? I love art, music and so many things. Why am I worrying so much still, when God's is providing all for us already?

Doubts. Doubts...and many more doubts.

I started to think right back in my childhood days, where my mom brought me to the nearby community center for Art classes. This struck me so deeply, though I wasn't really sure whether I'm at the right of track, that God has a plan for me. The plan was way before I'm here now. Would it be right that God has planned to let my Mom to send me to Art classes, that leads me to at this point?

I find it quite amusing about how I started loving Art. It's not an interest right at the start of my life. I could say it's a gradual thing. I went classes at the age when I'm like in Preschool, in fact I don't really like or enjoy it either. Seriously, I was quite bad at it.

It was during my Primary 5, at the age of eleven, I took part in a 'Bookworm competition'. (It was a compulsory by my Art teacher) At that time, I wasn't sure what should I draw or how should I do about it. Honestly, I don't really read bookworm books. How could I even draw without a book to look at?

Later part of the week, I borrowed some books and took a close look at the picture cover. Then I decided on a book. The weirdest miracle happen from there. I started drawing and coloring with MIXED Medium and shading (which I swear that I've really never learn before). Of course I got one of the top 3 in school and have my art piece pin up in the Library.

This is like a new lid fire burning inside me, all till my Secondary School. I believe that God has given this gift to me, and I'm sure that the fire is still burning hot and will never, NEVER dies.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Change in Life

Life is never the same for me, ever since I get to know God. Who is this great person? What difference does he makes in me? Well, it's kinda strange to hear from a person like me have committed myself to God.

Smoking, clubbing, drinking and many other things had been my life in the past. I could play all night and return home late or simply stay at my friend's place for a night. I could club all night long and work the next day without having any rest. That's me.

When I started to realize that life like this was meaningless, as there is no joy, no comfort, no security and no LIFE. Everything was only exciting for just that couple of hours, and you are back to reality again. I could party all time with people that were just acquaintance, no one will ever be true at that kind of place.

I started to realize that we only tend to seek help for God only during that last moment of life-and-death threatening moments, where we are utterly helpless for sure. God is really good. He never forsake you even you had forsaken him all the time. When you are lost, he lighten your path. But you just simply can't give as much as he can gives you.

I'm from a Buddhist family, there are many things that I can't understand. One thing that I'm very sure of, is that no other God in this world is better than my God. He was the most kindest, graceful, merciful, forgiving, loving, caring...(on and on) God that I ever know. Who in this world can forgive your sins and provide you with a second chance? or third? or Forth? or even more? God send his only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross in order to redeem us. How great is he.

Being a young Christian I'm definitely not worthy yet to have so much grace from him. There are so many things that I couldn't simply give up, but I'm sure that I'm willing to give my life to him.

Many times, I felt a disgrace for considering myself as a Christian. For I still couldn't be as worthy as he wants of me. Though I'm not a worthy servant, but he still blessed me with so many things. I have a good Dad, Mum, siblings and friends. He gave me happiness when I sing, draw, paint, hear and taste. I was in choir during my Secondary school days, and I found the happiness that I've lost these years after that in Church choir. Singing is a gift. Drawing & painting are also a gift. My senses are also a gift from him. He have given me all the joy that I want. Thank you so much God!

I used to sleep during any kind of sermon. It was to my amazement that I found meaning and interest in recent sermons. How could this happen? It's impossible to keep me awake, but in fact, it is really enlightening.

I guess God have a plan for me, and so does he have for you. We shall see what he has for us...

Monday, August 31, 2009

A New Beginning...

A person who had a life that is given by GOD, she lives her life in a world of wonders and color. It's me..... Sandy Genex of course. With the colors and adventures, that GOD had blessed me and my life. Come... Come with me to explore the beautiful world that is in me.......